Grumblings

Dear Void
Well so much for trying new things,
Like trying to stop being a perfectionist-
Whats wrong with being a perfectionist- well if you can't do it perfectly- or be an expert in it before you start  you are inclined not to begin in case you fail.

Trouble is not being a perfectionist- like showing work in progress to people who don't understand work in progress- or taking a chance not knowing how to do it at the outset..

So I've tried to lose that this year a bit- god knows I've posted enough rough stuff here .

Its been hard this year - I like learning things but there has been so much to catch up on.
Trying to maintain the beginners mind.
Anyway so in the process of working on a job lately I've had to try and catch up on 3dsMax - and bunch of stuff in it I hadn't looked at in a long long time (seeing as often you just use a subset of features depending on your role)>

I really don't like attempting something where I don't know what I'm doing or how I'm going to do it beforehand- its something I never used to do-
and in a way it held me back......

The hardest bit is wondering if people understand?

It feels like last year I had lots of ideas (for books ,comics, games written down) but nothing come of them,
This year it feels like a lot of learning but no payoff (financially).

Findings:-
The CAT rig is a flaky piece of crap- my initial optimism was misplaced.
I'm only using it in a basic fashion but that is enough to reveal its dodgyness.
Spending time in 3ds max makes me realise how much I enjoy drawing more or learning or doing actual animation and actual stories,
not stupid pieces of advertising crap however much moneys worth  they might be.

I like stories- and funny things- and funny characters- at least I'm finding out for sure what I like.

I am interested in animation-
its the life force sucking software esoterica I do not like.
Particularly if it only is half baked- like 3dsmax seems to be still.
Whereas Toon Boom I'm very interested in and I'm kind of anxious because I haven't gotten back onto it and trying a proper character and scene with what I'd been learning.

For example- why doesn't Maya export to a 3ds max file or vice versa given they are owned by the same fucking company?
Why?

I realise dear Void I am only talking to myself-
The stats say 400 views for most posts but that must be just about 0 real people looking .
I look at the blog stats- well at least bots and spiders like me,
I guess google is analysing it so it can post stupid crap ads in other things like youtube.

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